


A Glance into Sam and Dean's Cell Phones

by remy (iamremy)



Series: 12 days of wincestmas - 2020 [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cell Phones, Curtain Fic, M/M, Pictures, Sexual Humor, Texting, alt text available for pictures, dean's attempts at sexting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:34:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22243411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamremy/pseuds/remy
Summary: In the hopefully not-so-distant future, where Sam and Dean are semi-retired, they text each other. A lot.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Series: 12 days of wincestmas - 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1601026
Comments: 34
Kudos: 124





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sintari (OriginalSintari)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OriginalSintari/gifts).



> this was for day 8 with a part two posted on day 10. as with the previous story, i'll just keep it simple and post them both here in two chapters.
> 
> just in case the pictures don't load, and to make it more accessible, i've also done my best to provide alternate text.

**Everyday life:**

[picture 1 alt text: an imessage screenshot. the contact is sammy, with a red heart emoji after the name. the messages are as follows:

dean: bring me pie  
sam: ask nicely  
dean: bring me pie if you wanna get eaten out any time this year  
sam: ...fine  
sam: jerk  
dean: bitch 🙄

end alt text]

[picture 2 alt text: an imessage screenshot. the contact is dean. the messages are as follows:

sam: (image of a happy golden retriever, captioned DEAN!!!!!!)  
dean: cute dog  
dean: but we're not adopting it  
sam: please? 🥺  
dean: no.  
sam: PLEASE? 🥺🥺🥺  
dean: sammy no  
sam: screw you, i want a divorce 🙄  
dean: 🙄🙄🙄

end alt text]

[picture 3 alt text: an imessage screenshot. the contact is sammy, with a red heart emoji after the name. the messages are as follows:

dean: i'm bored  
dean: send nudes  
sam: (sends an uncaptioned picture of three lipsticks in nude shades)  
dean: wtf??  
dean: oh fuck you sam  
sam: come here and do it yourself  
dean: ......  
dean: ON MY WAY

end alt text]

[picture 4 alt text: an imessage screenshot. the contact is dean. the messages are as follows:

dean: hey sammy, robbie just called, wants to know how you kill a tiyanak  
sam: you don't  
sam: you turn your clothes inside out to protect yourself and then you give it a name  
sam: that brings it peace  
dean: cool, thanks, i'll call him back  
dean: love you 😘  
sam: love you too ❤️

end alt text]

* * *

**On a hunt:**

[picture 5 alt text: a lockscreen screenshot. the background is a candid picture of sam laughing. there are two message previews, with the contact being sammy with a heart after the name. the first message is from 2 minutes ago and reads "witness says her sister was killed in a car crash couple months ago," and the second message is from now and says "she's buried in the cemetery at the corner." end alt text]

[picture 6 alt text: a lockscreen screenshot. the background is a smiling dean sitting inside the impala, leaning out of the window. there are two message previews, with the contact being dean. the first message is from 1 minute ago and says "dammit." the second message is from now and says "meet you there in 10." end alt text]

* * *

**The sexual misadventures of Dean Winchester:**

[picture 7 alt text: an imessage screenshot. the contact is castiel. the messages are as follows:

sam: hey, can you watch jack for a while?  
sam: i need to go bail dean out of jail  
castiel: sure, sam  
castiel: why is dean in jail?  
sam: tried to send me nudes while waiting in the mcdonald's drive-thru and got arrested 🙄  
castiel: i see  
castiel: what do i tell jack if he asks?  
sam: tell him dean's in for murder or something idk

end alt text]

[picture 8 alt text: an imessage screenshot. the sender is sammy with a red heart emoji after the name. the messages are as follows:

dean: why is jack asking me why i killed someone?  
sam: i told cas to tell him you were in jail for committing murder  
sam: better than telling him the real reason  
dean: smh now my kid thinks i'm a murderer  
dean: dammit sammy  
sam: how sad  
dean: was it at least a good dic pic???  
sam: no  
dean: damn, tough audience  
sam: 🙄

end alt text]

[picture 9 alt text: an imessage screenshot. the contact is jack. the messages are as follows:

jack: sam whats a dick pic  
sam: ???  
jack: dean told me he was in jail for sending a dick pic  
jack: he also said you are a liar  
sam: oh my god i'll kick his ass  
sam: look, whatever you do, don't google it  
jack: ...too late  
sam: JACK  
jack: can you sign me up for therapy  
jack: will you still love me if i stab my eyes out  
sam: i'm going to kill dean  
jack: pls kill me first

end alt text]

[picture 10 alt text: an imessage screenshot. the contact is sammy with a red heart emoji after the name. the messages are as follows:

sam: WHY WOULD YOU TELL JACK ABOUT THE DICK PIC  
dean: better than murder isn't it  
sam: DEBATABLE  
dean: aww don't be such a prude sammy  
dean: hey, you wanna have epic 'my husband just got out of jail' sex?  
sam: you say it like you were in for ten years  
dean: i'm not hearing a no  
sam: ...only if you use the handcuffs you stole on me  
dean: FUCK YEAH BABY

end alt text]


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 2! warning for dean's inappropriate sexual humor.

**Old habits die hard:**

[pictures 1 & 2 alt text: imessage screenshots. the contact is sammy mcbitchface with a red heart emoji after the name. the messages are as follows:

sam: dean i've told you so many times to use your own computer!  
dean: yes, and? i didn't use yours if that's what you're getting at  
sam: oh yeah? then why am i getting pop-up ads for gearstick dildos???  
dean: no clue 🤷♂️  
sam: don't even. i knew you were obsessed with the car but this is just disturbing, dude.  
dean: what  
dean: LMAO IM NOT GONNA FUCK MY CAR  
dean: the dildo is for you  
sam: IM NOT GONNA FUCK THE CAR EITHER DEAN THATS JUST WEIRD  
sam: WE DONT EVEN HAVE THAT KIND OF GEARSTICK  
sam: AND I'M PUTTING A PASSWORD ON MY COMPUTER!  
dean: it's so cute how you assume that's gonna keep me out  
dean: you're so adorable sammy :')  
sam: no sex for a month  
dean: wait what  
dean: you're joking right??  
dean: OKAY OKAY I'M SORRY  
dean: NO ONE WILL FUCK THE CAR  
dean: sam??  
dean: sammy?  
dean: baby?  
dean: fml

end alt text]

* * *

**Midlife career changing crisis:**

[pictures 3 & 4 alt text: imessage screenshots. the contact is dean with an eyeroll emoji and a red heart emoji after the name. the messages are as follows:

dean: so i'm thinking it's about time we look for alternate careers  
sam: why  
dean: because i'm bored sammy  
dean: i was thinking we could make porn  
sam: you mean of us??  
dean: who else, the neighbors? 🙄  
dean: so anyway we could buy a camera and set it up  
dean: we could be famous sammy!!  
sam: i don't wanna be famous for gay incest porn, though  
dean: well, we could do other kinds  
sam: i don't wanna make ANY porn  
dean: wow sam. i can't believe you'd ruin my career before it even began :/  
sam: don't be so dramatic  
sam: we could do something else, like idk sign up to be dog walkers  
dean: are for real?? do you really think dog walking pays as much as porn  
sam: no, but there are dogs and that makes me happy  
dean: well porn makes ME happy!  
dean: maybe we can compromise  
sam: DON'T SAY IT  
dean: dog porn  
sam: NO!!!!  
dean: jk lmao  
dean: we could still make a sex tape tho and just keep it to ourselves  
sam: ...i'm down for that

end alt text]

* * *

**he's clearly busy, cas:**

[picture 5 alt text: a lockscreen screenshot. the background is a candid picture of sam laughing. there are three missed call previews on the screen and one message preview. the contact for all four is cas. the first missed call is from 2 minutes ago; the second is from 1 minute ago; and the third is from now. the message previews reads "DEAN." end alt text]

[picture 6 alt text: an imessage screenshot. the contact is cas. the messages are as follows:

dean: sweet baby jesus cas what is it  
cas: a hunter named keith called because he needed an FBI cover. where were you?  
dean: obviously i was busy dude  
dean: still am  
cas: are you copulating with sam?  
dean: that's the most unsexy way possible to say it  
dean: but yes  
dean: did u handle keith  
cas: yes. i successfully lied to the nice sheriff that called.  
dean: good, i'm proud  
cas: thank you. i shall leave you to your sexual activities.  
dean: thanks i guess

end alt text]

* * *

**The saga of Dean's banishment from Walmart:**

[pictures 7 & 8 alt text: imessage screenshots. the contact is dean with an eyeroll emoji and a red heart emoji after the name. the messages are as follows:

dean: just a heads up - we are now banned from walmart  
sam: what did you do omg  
dean: why do you always assume it was me???  
dean: ok fine it was  
dean: i ran into mrs. webb and she just started talking crap outta nowhere man  
dean: some bullshit about how i'm a redneck brotherfucker  
dean: and i was like ok with it bc like. she ain't wrong but then  
dean: she said you weren't even that good-looking and that pissed me off ok?  
sam: dean...  
dean: WHAT! you're freakin hot dude own it!!!  
dean: anyway then she began yammering on about how we were going to go to hell  
dean: and i said we'd already been, wasn't fun, 0 stars on yelp  
sam: omg dean  
dean: so she said angels would smite me and i was like they're scared of us the feathery little dicks  
dean: and then i got escorted out by security. didn't even get my pie 😡  
sam: is it weird that i am extremely turned out right now  
dean: oh are you now  
sam: yes  
sam: enough that you're getting a surprise when you get home  
dean: fUCK YES

end alt text]

* * *

**And finally, Sam being a cutie:**

[pictures 9 & 10 alt text: imessage screenshots. the contact is sammy mcbitchface with a red heart emoji after the name. the messages are as follows:

sam: so get this  
sam: there is actually more than one type of djinn  
dean: yeah?  
sam: yep. there are ifrit and marid also and they have different levels of power  
sam: and depending on what type of djinn it is there are different ways of killing them  
sam: like for instance a silver knife dipped in lamb's blood will only just piss off an infrit  
sam: oh and btw ifrits look like regular djinns but marids do not, they don't blend in with humans at all  
dean: so how DO you kill an ifrit then?  
sam: right, so, you can either bind it to an object and make it do what you want, or you could banish it with an arabic exorcism  
dean: and lemme guess you've already memorized the exorcism  
sam: hey, you never know when it'll come in handy!  
dean: god sammy  
sam: what?  
dean: nothing  
dean: you're just really cute when you go on about your geeky stuff  
dean: made me smile  
sam: oh  
sam: um  
sam: thanks 😊  
dean: ❤️❤️❤️  
sam: 🥰🥰🥰

end alt text]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment and let me know if you enjoyed :)

**Author's Note:**

> i downloaded so many apps for this one lmao let me know what you thought of it!
> 
> love,  
> remy


End file.
